~Nothin of the Ordinary~

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

These days are the hardest for me.. when i finally had to let it all go. All that's left with me are heart blistering memories. Those that make me smile and weep... I wanted so hard to just go back in time.. To the time when I was the only one.

Too bad, it cant be done.

I did what I could. I pleaded, I cried, I shoved every bit of pride down my throat.......but all to no avail.
I guess my replacement wasn't that hard to find.

All lies I cannot forgive, at least not now. That silent betrayal you gave me I'll never forget. How the truth was revealed will forever be etched in my memory.

Maybe God really planned for me to find out the truth the hardest way imaginable.

Saddest thing: Watching the one you love change before your very eyes into something completely unrecognizable.
But hey, its cruel reality.

Im letting him go not because I want to
But because I love him so.

I want to think that someday, I will thank you, William, for hurting me like no one has ever did,, for putting me in the lowest point of my life almost to the brink of depression. Someday I will look back and say: "Thank you so much." with utmost sincerity.

To Can and William:
Just don't rub salt in my wounds, that's all Im asking. im ready to give way though I know I'll go through hell doin it. .
Be happy even if at my expense.

God help me.

lost in thought at 5:01 AM