~Nothin of the Ordinary~

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Sometimes, no matter how bad your day may be, a spark of hope will make you smile and you thank God for His graces. I did not have a grand time at school because of excessive cramming for my subjects. All of a sudden, there was an announcement that classes are suspended the following day. What a crap. We will hold the most crucial activity for our thesis that very next day and all has been laid out. It meant starting the processing of papers from scratch. Hell baby.

So what made my day? It was the confirmation that my article, yes MY ARTICLE was indeed included in a magazine to be distributed by the Philippine Center for Entrepreneur. That felt so good. I recalled the day when I applied for that spot; I was searching for past articles to be submitted along with my curriculum vitae and it was frustrating. For two days I was crossing my fingers and fortunately, I was called to write an article regarding a former OFW who was able to establish a business from his remittances. It was like my stepping stone aside from being editor in chief of The Chronicle of course. Really, it was no big deal since the magazine is really not something big compared to the monster ones being distributed commercially but I felt extremely satisfied. I will also be compensated for the article and the pictures but that was nothing compared to the realization that I can indeed write for affairs even outside the university.

You know, I never did believe in my skill (if that's how you would call it.) I played it safe, afraid to accept rejections and meet expectations and so I kept my writing away from the critical eyes of people. I was very insecure because I know my writing is mediocre that I didn't give it room to grow and develop. I suffocated it to the point of exhaustion. Little by little, it came out through writing projects in school without me even noticing. People encouraged me to write and so I did. I could never forget my literature professor who gave me my first ever 78% on a term paper. I was seething with anger and I could not accept that fate. As i pondered on it, God certainly knew where to hit me. Arrogance deceived me and so I felt then that no one in his right mind should give me a low grade. It was a situation where I learned to humble myself and to believe that I am no better than anyone.

It was also against my will to be appointed junior guild head last year and currently the guildhead of my course publication, The Chronicle, along with Charisma Torres. Aside from hating the responsibility, the criticism scares me. I was contented with working at the back room where no low lying remarks could penetrate my shell. When I finally took the challenge, it was just like I imagined: hell. I was the internal editor; meaning I would do all the extreme writing, editing as well as inspiring, proding, pushing and reprimanding the staff. Cha was the external editor concerned with negotiations regarding the publication's relationship with people and organizations who matter. It was no easy feat but hopefully, The Chronicle will be out in a matter of days.

Though before all this Chonicle drama, I was on hiatus from writing. A few months back, I totally lost interest in scribbling just about anything which was before a normal, everyday thing for me.

Thanks to my internship, it gave me a newfound hope that I could indeed write. I went through a needle's eye which was vital for testing my patience. You could never go anywhere without starting at the bottom which includes very sleazy jobs. I passed the test of patience and was made to write a report which instantly promoted me to more of an employee (with pay! hehe) rather than just being a mere intern. My boss boosted my confidence. She was a writer and became sort of my mentor. One of the few who believed when I myself was about to give up. She pushed me to my limits, gave me deadlines and in that short period of two months, molded me into someone who has a revived passion to continue with the craft she loved ever since. Thanks Ma'am Lizza Nakpil. I owe you big.

Long have I said that I will not let nasty remarks ruin my determination and instead regard them as corrections needed to hone my skill. When I go out to the world, it will surely come in handy. After all, those who persist are those with guts to reach for their dreams.

lost in thought at 7:15 AM